In the darkness, two heads nodded furiously. Three women stood in an alley adjacent to a well-known theatre in London’s West End, furtively avoiding the pale streetlights. Each one was dressed completely in black, and dark camouflage smears obscured their faces. The woman who had spoken clutched a length of nylon rope in her hand, twisting and straightening it absently. One of her companions smacked a small black club into the palm of her hand, and the other held a large gunnysack.

“Good. Remember your jobs, and we’ll pull this off without a hitch.” The woman who was speaking regarded her friends with satisfaction, then glanced quickly at her watch.

“Right. The show ended fifteen minutes ago, and I calculate another five or so before she comes out.” The woman pointed at a door in the alley that served as the theatre’s back entrance. “We’ll have maybe three seconds to pull this off. Bod, your target is the whale. Red, we’ll need that bag at the ready, so follow my lead.”

The one called Red nodded again. “No worries, Wind. I’ll have her inside the bag before you can say ‘do it’”. She giggled. The remaining woman flashed her eyes with almost maniacal fervor and glanced slyly at Red.

“I'll div mah job jist braw, as lang as Red doesnae mess up,” she cackled. Red glared at her.

“Dinnae mess wit me Bod yer wee gollach!”

Bod snickered. “Wuid yae jist look it that!,” she said. “The Welshie hoo'er cawin' me a gollach!!” She stuck her tongue out at Red, who balled up her fists and went into a fighting stance.

“That’s it! I’m gonna bang you out, mate!”

Bod squinted back at Red, brandishing her club. “Try it, ye sod, Ah daur ye!” The two women squared off and began circling each other. Wind rolled her eyes and stepped between them, shushing them loudly. “Enough with you two! Damn it, we have but one chance to pull this off, and I won’t have you two scotching this up!” The last part of her statement was met with a harsh stare from Bod.

“Sorry," Wind said, trying not to laugh. “I meant, ‘messing’ it up.” At that moment, a light over the door turned on. The women froze for a moment.

“Get into position!” Red whispered. Hurriedly, the trio scrambled about in the alley, taking predetermined places near the door. Bod was closest, standing with her back against the building’s wall, her club at the ready. Red held the large bag out in font of her, and Wind pulled the nylon rope taut.

“Ready… steady…”

The theatre door opened. A man and woman were stepping through the exit, followed by a small entourage. The woman was a striking, middle-aged redhead, while her companion was short and dumpy-looking.

“GO!”

In a black-clad blur, the three women sprung into action. Bod was first, swinging the club at the man, striking him across the back of his head.

“Here's a taste ay Scot spirit, ye big fat whale!” she cried. The man groaned and fell to the ground. His female companion gaped at him in open-mouthed surprise, then glanced bewilderedly at Bod. Wind and Red jumped at her, and before the woman knew what was happening Red had yanked the gunnysack over her head, covering the woman from head to toe. Wind quickly stepped in and swiftly wrapped the nylon rope around t he woman’s struggling form.

The remaining entourage stared at the bizarre scene, which had happened so fast they were quite unable to comprehend what had happened.

“Right, then!” Wind yelled. “Run for it!” She grabbed the front of the squirming gunnysack as Red hoisted the rear, and the women sped off towards a darkened van. As the group of startled people began chasing them, Bod leaped into the van’s driver seat while her companions quickly shoved their package into the rear and jumped in after it, slamming the doors shut.

“Go, Bod!” Red cried, straddling the struggling form inside the sack. Bod howled a Scot war cry and hit the gas, causing the van to scream away from the curb and deep into the darkened city.

Wind held down the front part of the sack and grinned gleefully at Red. “We did it!” she whispered. Red nodded, her eyes shining.

“She’s all ours,” she said triumphantly. “At last!” She and Wind hugged briefly, then settled back in the van, their minds dancing with thoughts of the delectable pleasures that awaited them.